Thursday, December 3, 2009

Journaling Trust

I really love this journaling class that I am taking with Stephanie Lee, as I mentioned in my last post. I am not really journaling more then normal, but I am still really enjoying it. I usually do Morning Pages, an idea from Julia Cameron's Artist Way in which you write three pages first thing in the morning. Three pages, no matter what, even if all you have to say is "I don't know what to write" for three pages. Although, trust me, once you get the hang of it, you will always have something to say. I sort of signed up for the journaling class by accident. Well, I knew I was paying for it when I hit the Paypal button, but for some reason, I was under the impression that it was a VISUAL journaling class (which is something I want to learn more about). When I realized that it was a WRITING journaling class, I was at first annoyed with myself for the mistake, but decided to stick with it, and am glad that I did. It is incredibly inspiring to read all the sharing that other journaling souls are doing in the class, to hear bits of their stories and to read about how this process of journaling is effecting their experiences. And I have to say, despite the fact that I was bummed in the beginning, it really has given me a new understanding of how important the process of journaling is in my own life. How much it has transformed my life, even though in the thick of it, I am only airing my daily laundry. But wow, airing all of that junk I harbor inside of myself is so liberating! When I get it out in a journal, it's not rolling around inside of me anymore! 
      I have plenty of nay-sayers inside my head who need tape slapped on their mouths. You know the ones. They tell me everything about me is not good enough, smart enough, talented enough...and on and on. Lately, I've been trying to soften these voices and push them aside for something a little more powerful: Trust. I head something this week about figuring out how you trust yourself and I have been thinking (and writing) a lot about my answer to that question. How do I trust? I think that writing in my journal is a way that I have learned to trust a little bit more. I trust myself to be honest there and I trust that by putting my ideas/dreams out there in the universe (via my journal), I am letting them be heard, letting them breathe. And I think there might be something to that. So here's to Journaling! And taping the mouths of our inner critics shut to allow room for more TRUST!

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1 comment:

americanepali said...

I can kind of relate to what you mean about journaling.

I can't keep a journal in the US... I don't know why, I guess it is psychosomatic... I feel like I have nothing interesting to say... but I love keeping a journal while traveling... between the weekly email stories I used to send, and the notebooks I have from study abroad, its simply a treasure trove!

But now I feel that way about blogging. I really love writing, and I have gotten into a routine... about 3 or 4 posts a week. I'm learning stuff I didn't know, and expressing myself in new ways,connecting with others, and it is really liberating and fun. Now... if only I could channel my blogging and reading energy into other things :)

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